When you’re two days in and already out of step

It’s amazing how quickly the new year can feel just like the old. The same frustrations, the same fears. How can I claim to rest in God’s plans one day and then feel so restless the next? Did I not mean what I said?

Oh, I know I meant it. But is it not so much easier to speak than to act? Didn’t Christ Himself say:

Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? – Luke 6:46

We can claim belief and have no belief at all. That’s who Christ was talking about. But even as blood-bought believers, claiming belief with our lips is not nearly so arduous as living it out day-to-day. Even when we earnestly desire to.
It’s not that I am restless about what God might do this year. It’s that I am fearful about what He may not do. How long must I endure this thing? What if God doesn’t bring about this great longing this year? What if I am still in the same place, with the same frustrations, a year from now? Whoa!It hits me hard, indeed.

And my mind whirls because it is miserable to feel this way. To wallow in worry over tomorrow. Rightly so, because it is sin, and my heart aches for breaking the heart of God with my unbelief.

I gasp for air and reach for truth. And gradually I remember. I know the way out. I’ve walked this path for over a year; the path that leads away from fear and worry and discontent. It’s not so easy today, but I push through the tangled brush of feelings that seek to catch my footing and trip me up.

I slowly and deliberately speak the words of gratitude that will carry me back to the path of rest.

#664 – 672

that choosing a name for the year does not mean that I have to achieve it immediately

the mercy and patience of God

returning to Genesis to begin a new year of daily reading
finding a chronological reading plan to follow
joining Beth Moore and the Siesta Scripture Memory Team once again

the first sunset of the new year

a timely Tweet from Amanda – Psalm 38:9 {oh, this blessed me so}

taking on a new mom role, as barber for my son

the uncluttered openness of our house after the Christmas decorations are packed away

Seeds of discouragement will not grow in the thankful heart. – Anonymous

In hope,

This post is linked with the Gratitude Community at Holy Experience as I share my list of One Thousand Gifts.

About Shelli Bourque

An ordinary girl living by the grace of life in Christ. Adoring wife and mom. Lover of quiet places and uncluttered spaces. Beauty seeker and image maker.