Solitude

I know that in many parts of the country, school has been in session for a couple weeks already; but here in Michigan, today is the first day. Due to our state’s dependence on tourism, they passed a law a year or two ago that forbids schools to start before Labor Day. It doesn’t bother me a bit; since that’s how things were when I was growing up, it just seems right.

So, around these parts, the number one question for the last week has been: “Are you ready for school to start?”

While it is obvious that some moms cannot wait to get the kids out of the house before they go crazy {the moms, not the kids}, most are simply ready to get back into a routine. And I suppose that is true for me as well. But I know that with that routine comes hectic days filled with homework, sports, and after-school activities. And I get hit doubly hard, because I lose not only my kids to the busyness of school, but my husband as well {he’s a special education teacher who will himself be going to school to finish up his Master’s degree}. In what seems like a blink of an eye, I go from a full house to just me and the dog. And we both miss them already.

So while there is a freshness in the air that comes with cooler temperatures and the opportunities that a new school-year brings, it is bittersweet. Except for one thing…

Solitude.

I realized a week or so ago, that I really need some alone time. Not selfish, me time. Just simply alone time. As an introvert, my internal batteries get recharged during times spent alone. Whether I’m working, reading, cleaning, or doing nothing at all, I sometimes just need to be alone. Not five minutes. Only a nice long stretch of solitude will do. And after ten weeks of constantly being with others, albeit the dearest people in the world to me, my mind, heart, and soul are screaming to be alone.

And the best part of being alone is being alone with God.

I can’t wait to spend time alone with Him. I can’t wait to talk out loud when I pray to Him. I can’t wait to delve into a new bible study with Him. I can’t wait to sit back and listen to Him. I can’t wait to sing songs of praise to Him. I can’t wait to get down on my knees before Him.

I’ve done all of these things this summer, but only in little bits of time. It feels like I’ve gotten a little bite of cake here and there. And I want the whole piece! Like a precocious child at her first birthday, I won’t stick a finger in the icing to get a little taste. I’m going to dive in for a big bite. And instead of glowing like Moses did each time he came away from the presence of God, I’ll come away with frosting all over my face.

And no one will mind a bit. No one will see. Because I’ll be alone. Just me and God.

And it will be wonderful.

My baby girl, oh so many years ago.