The room is cool, the summer’s heat kept at bay by the luxury of the air conditioner and the swirling of fan blades overhead. Not too cold. Just cool enough to allow the heavy covers to be pulled up as I crawl into bed. Having grown accustomed to the weight of them during the cold winter months, it’s difficult to give them up when the temperatures rise. The heaviness calms the body, the comfort brings sweet rest. It’s a weight I thoroughly enjoy and look forward to each night as sleep beckons.
There is another weight. A heaviness I have known for quite some time. The weight of things not being as I think they should; the discouragement that comes while waiting on God to change a situation. Or me. It’s some time before I can no longer deny that it’s me who must change. But change in a person takes more time than it ought, I suppose. Especially when we’re unwilling to let go of our dreams, for the sake of God’s sovereign plan. A plan that only reveals itself moment by moment and whose end is not foreseen.
Even when the will bows to His ways, the weight of a heavy heart pins us down. Resignation does not always immediately bring release. Months spent in prayer and pressing on in His Word bring comfort during such times of perseverance. Truth must be used to water a parched soul. And gratitude must be continuously poured out.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. – James 1:2-4
When it seems the weight will never lift, when the work of perseverance will never be complete, the covers are suddenly pulled back. The heaviness is gone.
The circumstances remain unchanged. Yet the heart has matured as truth has finally saturated every vessel. The old and frustrating is seen with new eyes. Eyes that sparkle with new dreams, perhaps the dreams God was after all along. The yoke becomes easy once again and the burden becomes light (Matthew 11:30). It’s a welcome renewal. Welcome indeed.
And gratitude is a fitting response. The counting continues:
334. God’s long-suffering
335. His all-sufficient grace
336. the weight of a long-felt burden lifted
337. the lightness and refreshment that follow
338. exciting new ministry opportunity {to be shared soon!}
339. time, money and possessions being re-purposed as we continue our journey of Radical living
340. children enthusiastically taking the journey with us
341. reconnecting with a dear friend after seventeen years (the one mentioned in this post)
342. learning that she is married and has two darling little boys
343. husband and children home for the summer
344. working from home so I don’t have to leave them
345. four generations
346. evidence of Uncle Eric’s chocolate chip cookies
347. him grabbing my knees just seconds later with those chocolatey hands
348. chubby legs and baby crocs
349. perfect mini umbrella for daughter’s American Girl dolls
351. matching full size one for us, as the lightest breeze caught ours just right and turned over the whole table
352. in bright blue because we are practicing simply being more cheery and fun
357. steady, soaking rain after two weeks of drought
In hope,
Shelli
This post is linked at with the Gratitude Community at Holy Experience as I share my list of One Thousand Gifts.
About Shelli Bourque