Letting Go

My little boy isn’t so little any more. In fact, he’s only one half inch shorter than I; and at 5’8″ I’m pretty tall. And he’s going to be 13 in a couple weeks. How in the world did he get to be a teenager so quickly!?

Yet, he seems very much like my little boy today because he’s going on his very first trip, without us, away from home (except for a night at one grandma’s or the other). And I am having to take a new step in letting go.

His weekend will be full of learning and adventure as he travels with our church’s youth group to a Christian camp. He’s going to a place I trust, with people I trust, and he’ll be watched over by my God, whom I trust. He’s nearly thirteen, mature and responsible. He’s more than ready for this. Am I?

I suddenly have a newfound respect for my mother-in-law, who worries incessantly about all of her children and grandchildren, and finds relief only when she knows they are home safe and sound. It’s the same sort of respect that flooded over me nearly thirteen years ago as I gazed into the face of my newborn and realized that one day my precious son would have his heart captured by another woman who would become his wife. It made me see our relationship in a whole new light.

And I have a newfound respect for my mom, who braved many moments as she faced her own battle with letting go. She watched me board a plane alone when I was just ten years old; a plane that would carry me far from home so that I could visit my dad in another state. And she would do it again and again over the course of the next few years. Did it ever get easier?

When I was sixteen, she battled letting go even more as she watched me board another plane that would take me all the way to France for an entire month as an international exchange student. How in the world did she do it? Could I?

I am excited for my son. For this day and for the future that God has planned for him. I don’t ever want to hold him back from life’s adventures for the sake of my comfort and security. I honestly won’t worry much. But I know he’ll be at the forefront of my mind. Is he having fun? What is he learning? How are the other kids? And I know I’ll miss him greatly {because I already do and he hasn’t even left yet!}.

I want to give my son the same freedom to grow up that my mom gave me. But this new step of letting go. . .

is really hard.

A mom,

About Shelli Bourque

An ordinary girl living by the grace of life in Christ. Adoring wife and mom. Lover of quiet places and uncluttered spaces. Beauty seeker and image maker.