Relationships can be messy. They are full of joy and pleasure. Yet, sometimes they are just plain hard. And for an introvert, interacting with people is also draining. I used to think there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t a people person. I like people; in fact, I love them. I just wasn’t comfortable with small talk and didn’t always want to be with them. It was a relief to learn that as an introvert I am not deficient, just different. After spending decades wanting to be more out-going, I embraced my God-given temperament.
Then my eyes were opened to my sin and my heart tore open.
I, along with all people, was born into sin. That means that in my flesh, I will naturally, without effort and even against my godly desires, turn toward sin. I am prone to use my gifts, talents, and even my created temperament in prideful ways, sinful ways.
We all do it.
Beautiful people can take pride in their outward appearance. Intelligent people can take pride in their knowledge. Talented people can take pride in their abilities.
Extroverts can relish being boisterous and the attention gained by being the life of the party. Introverts can relish both the quiet and the peace of solitude. Both can be selfish. Both can miss the opportunity for genuine, redemptive relationships – the extrovert, by being selfishly social; the introvert, by being selfishly withdrawn.
I was selfishly withdrawn. Although not withdrawn from all people, I was introverted to a fault, to a sin. I took a God-given characteristic and subconsciously used it as an excuse to ignore the second greatest commandment: to love others. I failed to extend genuine friendliness to strangers, failed to draw closer to acquaintances,  and even failed to appreciate the importance of close friends.
God has been working on my heart for months and he is dramatically changing my view of relationships and the importance of community. I have been reaching out to others more than ever before. It has been hard at times. I’m still an introvert, after all. Yet it has been worth it.
I used to want to be outgoing so I could be a better person. Now I want to be outgoing so I can better love others. The shift in motive has made all the difference in the world.
About Shelli Bourque